Alone in the Nest

Its Tuesday, January 5. The holidays are over. Our Christmas was great. Annie flew in and so did Walker's parents, brother and girlfriend. The house was full with Amy home for 4 days, Annie for about the same and Al and W were at the house for two weeks with a small break when they visited friends in Monroe for New Years. I went to the Art Institute, to a movie, and out to dinner with everyone excluding Amy. Amy got a recliner and a talking clock from me, we all gave Annie a new laptop, Al orchestrated the whole christmas top to bottom and got nothing from me hardly, and I got a necklace and bracelet that Al combed the internet for. Its a brass heart that has "i love you" in different languages. Its like the bracelet my dad gave my mom and then gave me years later. It got lost but my memory of it never faded. I told Al about it, never expecting she would look for one, let alone find one. I love it/them.

It was one Christmas Eve that Walker made the announcement that he and Al were announcing that they would marry sometime in the future. Kathy and I looked at each other with tears in our eyes and hugged. I feel very lucky for Al that she has such a wonderful "other family". And I feel fortunate for myself too. Kathy is a great woman who cooked and did dishes much of the time she was visiting. Bless her. W's dad is a nice, mildmanner, funny, and quirky man who I feel very comfortable around. His brother is a peach as was his girlfriend, A lan.

Now everyone is gone and I am left to my task of losing weight and walking again. I can do it. I have to continue to remind my self that at this point, this IS my purpose in life. I am alone and able to dedicate myself to good eating, exercising, therapy, and whatever it takes to keep/make myself healthy so that i will be alive to enjoy my daughters' lives and to build one for myself.

I'm having difficulty choosing a food plan and that is stressing me out. the next step is usually giving up and that cannot happen. Allison is getting married this fall, i'm supposed to have knee surgeries this summer, the state i am in is out of the question.

I'm thinking I want to stay away from breads except whole grain occasionally. I'm wanting greens today and that's a clue that my body needs it. Al makes the best salads. There's something about a salad someone else makes for you.....

Time to put in an order for some greens and fruits from Peapod.

I will write every day.

Today I had canned soup for lunch, an apple, a handful of nuts.