Malaise or Mayonaise

watched a show about hormone replacement therapy today on oprah. i now have a new thing to worry and wonder about. could the general malaise, lack of energy/hope, tiredness and ability to sleep at any time during the day, disinterest in life and the people in it be the result of a hormone imbalance? Or is is the rheumatoid arthritis and pain that makes me not want to move, cook, go out, do basic housework, interact with others? or am i just depressed? or am i still getting over my divorce? or is it caring for my 21 year old disabled daughter by myself and dealing with her boredom, anxiety, and disconnectedness from life? or is she that way because of me? or am i worried about not being supported by my ex and the diminishing of my small bit of money left by my mom? or is it the 100 plus pounds i need to lose? is that why my body hurts so much? and why can i not eat in such a way that causes me to lose weight? and why can i not stand up straight without becoming winded and so weak i must lean on something? or is my general weakness felt for at least the last four to five years because of my arthritis and my not using my body and thus causing weakness? is it the physical care of my daughter and the worry about her future and future happiness wearing me down? is it because i feel as if no one else in the world really cares about her because i have cared for her alone all of her life. i mean really cared for her......... gee i don't know. maybe i'm stressed out because i need to work but don't have the physical strength to walk about my own house without a walker???? maybe i'm stressed because i have had NO medical insurance/care for almost a year. maybe i'm afraid of dying soon as things continue to spiral downward daily? maybe i'm worried about the economy, my non supportive ex, losing my house, and basically being homeless in the near future. but what most worries me most of all is my inability to move forward positively about any of these thing, to take steps in the right direction for more that three hours into the future, to care about any of this enough to be able to even express what is happening to me?